The most ridiculed Nigerian on social media today is Saga of the ongoing Big Brother Naija.
The reason is this: Saga is in love with Nini, another housemate (who told him she has a boyfriend outside of the house).
Saga didn’t see this as a hampering factor, he expresses his feelings and backs them with emotional actions in the house.
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The hypocrisy on social media today smells like a putrid fish. It is quite easy for people to sit at home and conclude on emotional matters like this. I see a lot of hate and mocking comments from a certain bandwagon of social media users who see Saga as a “mumu” for being in love with someone who has a ‘boyfriend’ (not husband).
To them, he’s being obsessed or lusting. But I choose to differ, Saga is building a very healthy emotional friendship with Nini and he is actually in love. Yes, he is.
The conclusion that Saga is obsessed and not in love is very annoying and lacks fibre. An average Nigerian lady in a relationship is so used to the toxic style of relationship in Nigeria. The typical relationship of incessant fights, quarrels, and drama. Their boyfriends are emotionless, unromantic, and very hard and brutal on them. The love action and excessive emotional expression and amorous display are seriously missing in their boyfriend. Hence they are so conditioned into believing that it is fake and an obsession if a Nigerian expresses love that way. Shame on them.
The truth is, it is very unusual to find a beautiful soul like Saga who expresses himself to the full, in action and words and every beautiful gesture and sign. This is the best form of love and if I were a woman, this will be the first factor to consider in choosing a man—how emotionally expressive he is.
Understandably so, the young, intelligent and extremely talented young man is what every woman wants as a partner what every Nigerian woman desire as a boyfriend or husband. Including those urchins on Twitter and Facebook who condemn him—(most likely they do not watch the show but only just follow headline updates from blogs.
But it’s quite surprising (not so surprising though) that these women are the ones dragging him and tearing him into shreds on social media. There’s a touch of jealousy in that.
I hear a lot of Yoruba men say “Saga is a disgrace to Yoruba men and that he shouldn’t love that way.” I begin to wonder if it’s a crime to be different from the crowd. If it’s a crime to stand out to be different, thinking different and behaving differently. Saga has proved to be different. He is different with his genuine emotional expression, creative ability, intelligence, etc.
That we can’t differentiate between obsession and love is why the Nigerian pattern of relationship doesn’t even work or last long.
The female gender says most men hide their emotions, but when a handful of men like Saga show their emotions, they are mocked for being “woman wrapper” and are tagged all sort of ridiculous names like in this case of Saga.
I saw a tweet where someone said “the most annoying part is that he’s doing that for someone who has a girlfriend.” This is laughable. So it’s a crime to fall in love with someone who has a boyfriend/girlfriend? Not husband/wife.
But again, everyone has an opinion on social media so it was needless to respond to her.
Also, it’s worthy to state clearly that Saga has never tried to kiss Nini? He hasn’t tried to smooch her into attempting sex or a deep intimate romantic session? This is chiefly based on the fact that he respects her and the fact that she has a boyfriend outside, even though he (Saga) loves her. This is so uncommon. An obsessed man, who is lusting would have made attempts to lure her into having sex, attempting a kiss, or getting into an emotional session with him. But what we see is just hugs, dancing together, and nothing intimate.
There is a significant difference between love, infatuation, and lust. I learned a lot about these when I read Robert Vallerand’s book “The Psychology of Passion; A Dualistic Model”
This book opened my eyes to these 3 emotional demonstrations.
Call it obsession, infatuation. Call it tomfoolery, mumu, or any words you find most suitable and accurate, you can’t deny the fact that these two are building a healthy and genuine friendship in the Big Brother house. And I know they will eventually become really cool friends when they come out (even if I want them to be in a relationship together).
I don’t mind if I’m the only one thinking otherwise or seeing this differently or standing with a different opinion, but my unwavering support for him and Nini remains solid.
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